Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
