you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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