Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
