Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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