At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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