We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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