just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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