I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
