I queefed so loud it echoed.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
