fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
