Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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