Jerry, you need to find god
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
