We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
