all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
