Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
