My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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