You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
