i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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