I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
