she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
