his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
