If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
