Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
