im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
