I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
