hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
