i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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