Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
