Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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