He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
