How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
