pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We left the knife in your bed.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
