my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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