My hair reeks of homosexuality.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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