I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
