Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
