Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
