She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize