We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
