My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
