Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
