hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
