i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize