More tranny stories later!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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