am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
