textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
