Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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