The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
