So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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