Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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