if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Vodka?
Forever.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
