Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
its liver damage thursday
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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