do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
