Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Bring me that man meat
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
