Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my shit smells like andre
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
