I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
