Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
