i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize