I just pynch a tree in the face
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
